Are Self-Destructive Behaviors Hurting You at Work?

If you feel like your professional life has stagnated and there always seem to be obstacles in your path to success, you might just be putting them there yourself. Many skilled workers find their own self-destructive behaviors hurting them at work. They may be preventing advancement, making everyday tasks harder, or even leading to burnout. But identifying and changing these maladaptive habits is possible, once you know where to look.

What is Self-Destructive Behavior?

Self-destructive behaviors are unhelpful coping mechanisms that people often adopt to respond to anxiety, stress, or other negative feelings. These thoughts you may think or actions you may take may have short-term benefits, providing you relief or pleasure, but they are not effective at addressing the underlying issues and often actively interfere with your goals for a healthy and happy life at home and at work. 

In clinical psychology, self-destructive behavior can also result in physical or emotional self-harm. In the most severe cases it can lead to cutting, self-injury, or even suicide. But the self-destructive behaviors hurting you at work don’t need to be so obvious, or so severe. They can also include activities that seem normal, even happening every day, but that are detrimental to your wellbeing or long-term goals, such as:

Fostering a Negative Mindset 

If you entertain negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself, like “I don’t deserve good things” or “I’m a screwup” this negative mindset can develop into self-destructive behavior. While not every derogatory thought is necessarily harmful, when it becomes a pattern it can become a deeply held belief. In turn, this can allow you to hold yourself back at work and in life. 

Adopting Imposter Syndrome

Many professionals hold the belief that they somehow fooled everyone into getting where they are today. You may believe you are not good at your job, or don’t know enough to be an expert in your field. You may feel like a fraud, or worry that your boss will fire you simply because you aren’t as good as he or she thinks you are. These thoughts are often referred to as “imposter syndrome” and generally are not objectively true. Instead, they are the result of anxiety over potential failure. Internalizing these thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading you to perform poorly even if you were previously a high achiever. 

Avoiding Asking for Help

If you are worried about your job, you may be afraid that asking for help will show weakness and hurt your reputation with your employer or coworkers. But avoiding asking for help is a form of self-sabotage. If you go it alone, you could end up spending far more time reinventing the wheel, doing something wrong, or even having to redo aspects of your work just to meet the company’s expectations. In addition, working in isolation, especially if it is due to feelings of low self-worth, can have a chemical effect on your brain, causing you to feel even less deserving of social support and connections. 

Externalizing Blame for Failures

You may also develop a habit of looking elsewhere when things go wrong. Rather than accept your own shortcomings and try to fix what has happened, you may blame your failure on things beyond your control, like stress, other deadlines, or even your coworkers. It is true that external factors can impact the way you work, but not every error is someone or something else’s fault. If you are always externalizing blame, it may be a self-destructive behavior that is preventing you from learning better time management or coping strategies to improve your success. 

Work-Life Imbalance

Another common self-destructive behavior common among workers is a failure to maintain healthy boundaries and balancing work expectations with demands out of work. When deadlines are looming or a project is more difficult than you thought, it can be easy to take on overtime, work through lunch, or keep working when you feel sick or run-down just to get the task done. Sometimes this “crunch” is necessary, and even mandated by your employer. But if it goes unchecked for too long, you could burn out or get sick because you are overworked. 

How to Identify Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms

One of the hardest things to do is see your own thoughts and behaviors objectively. That means it can be difficult to identify your own maladaptive coping mechanisms. The longer you have engaged in self-destructive behavior, the more likely you are to think it is normal. You may need to work with a supportive coworker, professional coach, or psychologist to identify these behaviors so you can start the work of correcting your unhealthy habits. This will involve:

• Practicing mindfulness to identify negative self-talk
• Identifying triggers that result in self-destructive behaviors
• Building support networks from your friends, coworkers, and professional circles
• Learning new coping mechanisms to address stress and anxiety in healthy ways
• Resetting harmful habits through repeated self-correction

None of these things are easy to do on your own. If you struggle to understand why your self-destructive behaviors are hurting you at work, you may need to hire a psychotherapist for short-term therapy focused on developing healthier coping habits. This mental health professional is specifically trained to guide you through the process of identifying, interrupting, and unlearning the harmful habits that are standing in your way to success. 

David Stanislaw is a psychotherapist with over 35 years of experience. He helps adults and couples handle life stresses through short-term therapy or ongoing counseling. Contact David Stanislaw to get help today.