Parents’ Guide to School Stress

The school year is heating up, and that means your school-age-children are facing stress from classes, tests, and social relationships. An increasing number of children report experiencing severe school stress, which can trigger anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. Parents are, understandably, struggling to meet their kids’ needs. Here is a parent’s guide to school stress, including how to recognize it is happening, and what you can do to make things easier for your children.

School Stress is More Serious Now Than Ever

Stress happens. Stress is a natural part life for students and their parents alike. It can motivate kids to work harder, avoid procrastination, and overcome obstacles. A 2015 study says that almost half (48%) of high school juniors experience school stress on an almost daily basis. But that kind of day-in, day-out stress isn’t good for anyone, especially students who are still developing mentally and physically. According to PEW Research, in 2019, American teens’ anxiety and depression symptoms were “on the rise,” indicating that almost 70% of teens today seeing these kinds of mental health challenges as a major problem in their friend groups. This can aggravate existing mental health problems for students and teens, including anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. It can also create physical symptoms that can do severe harm to children’s bodies over time.

What Causes School Stress for Students

Teens report experiencing stress from a number of sources. The same 2019 Pew Research study showed teen stress can come from:

• Academics and good grades (61%)
• Pressure to look good (29%)
• Social pressure (28%)
• Extracurricular activities and sports (21% each)
• Pressure to use drugs (4%) or alcohol (6%)

When asked more broadly about people in their community, teens identified these major problems:

• Anxiety and depression (70%)
• Bullying (55%)
• Drug addiction (51%)
• Drinking alcohol (45%)
• Poverty (40%)
• Teen pregnancy (34%)
• Gangs (33%)

In general, high school is the most stressful period for children. This is due to developmental and social changes that come with puberty, as well as the increased academic demands. However, how school expectations affect your specific student can depend on many factors that have little to nothing to do with the school itself, such as:

• Physical changes to their bodies
• Low self-esteem
• Anxiety for the future
• Difficulty with social relationships
• High expectations or tendencies toward perfectionism
• Chronic illness or underlying conditions
• Relocation or school changes
• Changes in their family unity due to death, divorce, remarriage, or a new child in the home
• Housing or financial insecurities
• Unsafe neighborhoods or home environments

Effect of School Stress on Students

Adolescence is a period of transition, physically and mentally. Teenagers are learning coping mechanisms that will shape their actions throughout their lives. How teens react to stress, and what they do to respond to stressors, can result in internalized behavioral problems, increased vulnerability to mental health challenges, and even suicidal behaviors.

Even shorter-term stress can create mental and physical warning signs. Prolonged exposure to heightened stress hormones (like cortisol) can cause teens and adults to:

• Have trouble sleeping
• Feel fatigue
• Experience panic attacks
• Dwell on worries and racing thoughts
• Struggle with focus, motivation, and critical thinking
• Experience muscle pain and tension
• Suffer headaches
• Feel digestive issues
• Get sick more easily with minor illnesses

Chronic stress can even reduce growth for school-age children, inhibiting bone growth and cognitive development.

What Parents Can Do to Help Children Manage School Stress

As a parent, you want to do everything you can to help your children manage school stress and avoid these kinds of severe mental and physical effects. This doesn’t just mean removing the stressors. You want to teach your kids healthy ways to respond to the stresses that they will inevitably face in life.

Model Healthy Stress Coping Mechanisms

Much of this depends on exercising healthy coping mechanisms yourself, and modeling healthy behaviors in ways your children can follow. This may take the form of engaging in self-care together, scheduling time for relaxation, limiting screen time, and using mindfulness and breathing techniques. By modeling these behaviors, you will not only give your children strategies for coping with school stress, but you will also reduce your own stress as well. This will in turn reduce the stress in your children’s home life, making it easier for them to get away from the stress they feel at school.

Establish Consistent Routines for Eating, Sleeping, and Homework

One of the most effective ways of managing stress is through routines. Many types of stress are created by a lack of stability or predictability (think pop-quizzes or an unexpected breakup). Providing a stable schedule for your children, with predictable bedtimes, wake-up times, meals, homework schedules, and activities can provide structure and stability. It can also help your children develop a habit of talking about their stresses during meals and family times.

Provide Support and Encouragement

Another way parents can help their children manage their school stress is by providing a safe and encouraging home environment. Pay attention to your child’s emotional state and encourage them to communicate with you about their school stress. Simply talking about stress can help your children process what they are experiencing and interrupt worry, racing thoughts or intrusive thoughts. You can also communicate with your children’s school about the teachers’ expectations and school assignments, which can help you support them with tutoring, time management, and planning.

If your student’s school stress is negatively affecting their physical or mental health, you can also provide support by connecting your teen with an experienced psychotherapist. Psychotherapy can supplement a parent’s efforts and help students manage their stress.

David Stanislaw is a psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience. He helps adults, teens and children with the mental and emotional consequences of chronic stress and other mental health concerns. Contact David Stanislaw to get help today.