Recognizing Teenage Anxiety and What to Do About It

Teens can be experts at hiding their thoughts, feelings, and activities from their parents. But when those same teens start to experience uncontrolled anxiety, that secrecy can lead to real mental health challenges. That’s why it is so important for parents to know how to recognize teenage anxiety, and know what to do when they see it.

Why Teenagers are So Likely to Experience Anxiety

Teenage anxiety is more common than you think. Nearly every teen experiences some anxiety, from changes to their bodies and alignment in social circles, but for many, this goes beyond situational worries and stress to form a mental disorder that can significantly affect their physical and mental health if left untreated. A 2022 study published in the American Family Physician Journal reveals that nearly 1 in 4 adolescents experience an anxiety disorder. This includes everything from specific phobias to social anxiety and panic disorders. 

Adolescence is a period where kids are especially vulnerable to anxiety and anxiety disorders. Their understanding of the world shifts from the concrete to the abstract and the external to the internal. While younger children may fear bugs or getting hurt on the playground, teenagers often experience anxiety around fitting in, their physical appearance, and even the world around them. Teens are also under immense pressure in modern society to perform well in school, both academically and socially, with mistakes they make today affecting their futures for years to come. 

Recognizing Teenage Anxiety

At the same time that teenagers are likely struggling with increased anxiety and worrying thoughts, they are also developing an identity separate from their parents. Anxiety disorders also make it harder for teens to admit that they need help, because that vulnerability may feel embarrassing or they may worry they will be punished for their thoughts or feelings. 

That means that if your teen is struggling with anxiety you may be the last one to know about it. While some teens readily talk to their parents about anything and everything, others may value their privacy and not realize that their parents are the ones best able to help them. As a parent of a teenager, you may need to be a bit of a detective. Some of the clues that your teenager is experiencing anxiety include:

• Expressions of fear or worry about routine things
• Increased irritability or anger
• Restlessness or feeling on edge
• Fatigue
• Withdrawal from social groups or friends
• Trouble concentrating
• Sudden problems with school or refusal to attend school
• Headaches
• Stomachaches
• Muscle pain
• Sleep problems (insomnia or oversleeping)
• Constant seeking of reassurance
• Alcohol or drug use

Recognizing teenage anxiety can also be more difficult if your child has other mental health disorders like ADHD or depression. Comorbid mental health conditions can mask important symptoms, making it hard to understand what your teen is experiencing. It is important to discuss all the symptoms you observe with your child’s doctor to see if more than one thing is going on.

How to Address Teenage Anxiety

If your adolescent child is experiencing anxiety, it may be temporary and pass once the stressful event ends, or it may be a sign of a mental health issue. In either case, as a parent, it is up to you to provide safe, non-judgmental support and guidance.

Invite Your Teen to Talk About Their Worries

If you see signs of anxiety, consider telling your teen what you are observing and ask them if they want to talk about anything. It is important that you avoid any language that could be seen as blame or judgment. It is not their fault they are having these feelings, and they may be more sensitive to criticism if they are feeling anxious. Instead, simply invite them to have a conversation when the time is right. Don’t ambush them. Ask to talk about it “later” or set a specific time, so they have time to gather their thoughts and think about their feelings. 

Acknowledge Stress and Emotions, Even if They are Irrational

When your teen does open up to you about fears or emotions, don’t dismiss or ignore them. Even if they seem irrational or overblown to you, you should still validate their feelings, taking their emotions seriously, making space for them to be emotionally vulnerable, and reassuring them that they are not “strange” or “crazy” for feeling the way they do. Express love and empathy for the way they are feeling and invite them to share as much or as little as they are comfortable with.

Help Teens Regulate Their Emotions and Their Schedules

One way that parents can help reduce teenage anxiety is to model healthy ways to regulate emotions and anxiety triggers. This starts with remaining calm even when your teen is irritable, wound up, or angry. You can help your teenager de-escalate and regulate their feelings, offering breathing techniques or other coping mechanisms to respond to the emotions of the moment. 

You can also do a lot to help avoid anxiety flare ups in the way you maintain your household. Find ways to minimize and release stress including:

• Keeping a predictable schedule for meals and bedtimes
• Making physical activities and exercise a priority
• Eating healthy
• Celebrating small achievements
• Adjusting expectations during stressful periods (like around exams)
• Making extra time or space for transitions (including going to school or parenting time exchanges)

By making your teenager’s home environment safe, predictable, and low-stress, you can improve their ability to respond to stresses outside the home.

Enroll Your Child in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with an Experienced Psychotherapist

The most effective treatment for anxiety disorders in teenagers and adults is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It can be used along with medication or as a stand-alone therapy. This form of psychotherapy helps teenagers develop strategies to think differently about their anxiety, and respond in healthier ways when it occurs. CBT isn’t about stopping a teen from being anxious, but instead learning ways to tolerate anxiety when it occurs. Over time, these coping mechanisms can reduce the anxiety and make your teenager better able to handle the stresses of everyday life. 

David Stanislaw is a psychotherapist with over 35 years of experience. He helps adults and teens with anxiety disorders and other mental health concerns. Contact David Stanislaw to get help today.