Benefits of Using Short-Term Premarital Therapy

The months between a partner’s proposal and the couples’ wedding day are full of excitement, anticipation, and stress. You may have very romantic ideals around your engagement, but planning the most elaborate event of your life at the same time you are preparing to spend the rest of that life together can easily become overwhelming. Using short-term premarital therapy in the time leading up to your wedding can help resolve the conflict and stress that arises in planning your wedding, while setting the path forward for your future together.

The Purpose of Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling or premarital therapy is one kind of short-term therapy that individuals and couples can use to get through the complicated period of life leading up to marriage. Some people also use the term for couples’ therapy between unmarried partners, but this blog post will focus on the benefits of using short-term therapy before marriage.

Premarital counseling isn’t just for struggling couples, and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or your anticipated marriage. In fact, couples’ counseling before marriage can you’re your relationship less likely to end in divorce. Working with a psychotherapist in the months leading up to marriage can help you improve your relationship, plan for your future, and build resilience into your bond with your fiancée.

Topics for Short-Term Therapy Before Marriage

You and your psychotherapist can communicate about the goals of the short-term therapy you and your soon-to-be spouse participate in leading up to marriage. Many couples preparing for a religious wedding are required go through religious premarital counseling on topics dictated by their priest, pastor, or religious leader. Private psychotherapy is different. It can raise and address specific issues relevant to you and your relationship. This could include:

• Relationship roles: How you and your spouse will contribute to your marriage.
• Children and family planning: Whether you both want to raise children, and how you intend to plan and provide for their needs.
• Extended family relationships: What role both of your parents and other family members will play in your life, and how they may affect your marriage.
• Spirituality: The role religion will play in your life together, and whether you share the same beliefs.
• Sexuality: Are there any concerns or differences in you and your partners’ approach to intimacy, and will anything change in that area once you are married.
• Financial concerns: How your new family will manage your finances, and do you have the same goals around earning or spending funds.

Benefits of Using Short-Term Premarital Therapy

Whether you are moving quickly toward marriage or you and your partner have been living together for years, there are many benefits of using short-term premarital therapy leading up to the wedding. Premarital counseling can help you and your partner to build skills to maintain your relationship and help you plan for your future.

Setting Expectations for Your Marriage

Romantic ideas of “living happily ever after” “until death do you part” are an excellent starting point for a marriage, but they can fade in the face of challenges and the practical realities of everyday life. Shor-term premarital therapy can help you set realistic expectations for married life. You can anticipate what you will do when conflicts arise. It can also guide you through discussions around your careers, life goals, and how you will support one another, even down to details like household chores and responsibilities.

Raising Difficult Issues in a Safe Space

As you work through these areas of life and family planning, you and your psychotherapist may identify areas of conflict and difficult issues that require further discussion. Often, one or both partners will shield the other from difficult parts of their past or opinions they believe the other will disagree with. But having these conversations before your wedding can prevent them from creating problems in your marriage. Your psychotherapist can facilitate these discussions, giving you a safe place to speak honestly about your concerns.

Improving Couples’ Communication Skills

The cause of many marital disputes is a lack of communication. Couples therapy can teach you to develop skills and strategies to resolve misunderstandings and improve your understanding of your soon-to-be spouse. Psychotherapy can also teach you and your spouse important conflict resolution skills, which you can use to dissolve tension and resolve disagreements when they do eventually arise.

Creating a Shared Vision for Your Family

One thing that sets premarital therapy apart from other forms of couples’ counseling is that the days leading up to your wedding are an excellent time to set goals and a vision for your shared future. This forward-looking aspect of short-term therapy before marriage can be enjoyable and exciting – helping you create a plan for things like having children, building a home, traveling together, and eventually retiring. Having that kind of shared vision for your future will help you work together to achieve it.

How Long Does Premarital Therapy Last?

Premarital therapy with a psychotherapist can take as long as you and your spouse need to address your concerns, but it can also be limited, if you prefer. You don’t need to commit to ongoing meetings or long-term sessions. At the same time, you should not feel pressured by your wedding date. If you and your spouse continue to benefit from premarital counseling, it can continue as couples counseling even after your wedding day. You can also pause and resume short-term counseling if your marriage becomes strained, or you face challenges in the future.

David Stanislaw is a psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience. He helps individuals and couples plan for the future through premarital therapy and couples counseling. Contact David Stanislaw to get help today.